“Lightness of Being”-Metamorphosis meets Life…

A few years ago, I was working a
very stressful 9-5 which was making me anxious. I knew this wasn’t my path, but
the money was handsome so I stayed there for 2 years, raised my credit score,
paid off a student loan, and other debts. My routine was: work M-F 9-5pm,
Netflix, eat fatty food and/or party on Friday nights, party Saturday nights,
Sunday nights watch “The Walking Dead” or “Breaking Bad” or “Revenge” (don’t
judge me!), participate in Twitter discussions. Look at the clock, shit… back to work tomorrow. Suddenly feel a pang of anxiety and illness.
Sleep it off. Start
the cycle again. This cycle continued and a lot of
things started going wrong with my body, one of which were heart palpitations.
I was convinced this was an early sign of a heart attack and even checked
myself into an emergency room. I was only 27 and thought I was suffering from
heart failure, although doctors said my heart was fine. A friend of mine
suggested I follow up with an acupuncturist and her medical advice was that I
was overly stressed, and needed to quit my job, or visit a Zen center. I wasn’t
ready to quit my job yet, but I did decide to visit a local Zen center and it
changed my world. I only went there once, but it was all I needed to understand
the importance of being aware and present. Anyway, all the newcomers gathered
in a room for an introductory session and a lady walked in, smiled gracefully,
sat on a cushion demonstrating how to sit during meditation while explaining the
benefits. I don’t remember everything she said, but I do remember seeing glowing bubble of light around
her. Her
presence filled the room and left an invisible imprint that planted firmly in
my memory, making a lasting contribution to my identity. It was a profound
impact for one session.

I didn’t go back to the center but
I practiced meditation every night and my life shifted like a bolt of lightning.
I became more aware of how my
thoughts and energy affected my life and I felt like a magician for manifesting
my desires. I learned about different forms of
meditation over the years and couldn’t believe I was unintentionally engaged in
a meditative practice since I was a child. Soul painting is a form of
meditation and it’s always been a therapeutic process for me. When I sink into the creative process, I go
through phases of experiencing deep peace and joy. I experience similar stages
of feeling connected or oneness with meditation. I try to sift through
difficult emotional states, while striving to understand the root cause and apply
compassion and forgiveness if needed. Art making evokes the same effort from
me. I try not to struggle with the voice of the critic, but listen and let it
pass. Both practices teach me how to stay calm in the face of chaos, as well as
deepen my ability to be with whatever is present. When you soul paint, your intention is to use the process of
painting to connect with your inner life and journey into the invisible worlds
of soul and spirit.

Now, I’m a
Capricorn and we love doing rituals and being disciplined and all that jazz,
but I have more fire and water energy in my chart and lose my grounding energy/stability
from time to time. I get distracted easily and become inconsistent with my
rituals and practices. May and June 2017 were tough months
for me and word in the astro world is that we’re going through some major
cosmic changes. It hit me on a mental, physical, emotional and spiritual level.
Doesn’t help that I’m currently experiencing my Saturn return, and Saturn…the
planet I rely on for stability…is in retrograde, so my finances been eh challenging (major stress for
Capricorns). But sometimes obstacles surface so that you can find resolutions
for the small annoyances that always seem to crop up from time to time. These
annoyances usually pop up when I’m working on something new or when I’m trying
to make moves. It’s hard to hone in on issues or frustrations that have been
holding you back when you’re absentminded. From my experience, I learned that
you need a heightened sense of focus and awareness when you’re trying to reach certain
goals. I believe that going through uncomfortable period of times are also chances
to create real magic in your life. It’s like receiving the gift of mastery from
the universe. When someone has mastered something, they’ve learned it
so well they can do it where conscious thoughts are no longer required. When
something is mastered, it’s probably impossible to forget because it becomes
part of you. We’re living in some interesting times and I’m led to
believe that we all need to assess what needs to change within ourselves. Better
yet, what do you need to master?

I heard some wise words from an artist years ago who said,
“Watch who you let rent space in your mind.” Unfortunately, sometimes that “who”
is YOU. That’s the case with me. I can quickly fall into old patterns and
unhealthy habits, when I’m not aware of my thoughts.  Thoughts become dense when you’re focused on
lower vibrations rather than being in the present moment and allowing life to
unfold. As I mentioned earlier, the past few months were really challenging for
me but I wanted to create an image of a woman experiencing the glorious
mysteries of being vulnerable, still, light, and receptive. The painting
process of “Lightness of Being” turned into a lesson for me to focus on
meditation again and master being more discipline, consistent, and aware of my
thoughts and movements. In moments of darkness it’s important to use mantras/practices
to build momentum and propel to the next level. Mindful meditation increases my
awareness and trains my brain differently. It’s like being an open vessel,
accessing and receiving different information from source.

“Lightness of Being” invites you to clear up certain areas
in your life through intentional meditation. Setting intentions before meditation is powerful. It can rejuvenate. It gives us
clarity. It connects you to your higher self, spirit, God…It’s a revolution. As the Buddha said, “The mind is
everything. What we think, we become.”

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